Harmless pranking, courtesy of John Egbert
by Tooka Chan
Summary: John and Dave playing L4D2 like good bros. also masturbating happens. this sucks and it's pretty short but yeah. Dave/John, M for choking some chickens


It all started out like a normal day. John and Dave had agreed to go on xbox live together and play some Left 4 Dead 2 when John got home. They'd both grabbed some sodas and snacks and sat in front of their tvs, excitedly waiting to see the notification of "turntechGodhead is online" or "ectoBiologist is online". It was when they finally started playing that John god some crazy ideas.

"Hey, Dave – oh fuck yes adrenaline – I was wondering, what type of girls are you into?"

"Uhh, dude, how many times to I have to remind you – shit, that's a tank - I don't like girls very much?" Dave stuck his tongue out, concentrating on the screen before him.

"Oh, right. It keeps slipping my mind, what with how cool you act all the time and whatnot. Well, then what type of guys are you into?" John smirked behind his glasses. _Boom! Totally headshot'd that Jockey._

"Cool ones, I guess? I don't know, anyone I could probably enjoy myself with. I like glasses and darker haired guys." _Woops, totally didn't mean to say that last part out loud. Awkward._ Dave silently prayed that John was too busy killing zombies to hear it.

"Oh, fuck yeah! Look at that score, suck it." John cheered as they got to the end of the campaign and saw that he had the highest amount of kills. _Dave just indirectly said he likes guys that are like me, didn't he? Hmm. Let's mess with this and see where it goes._

"Alright, wanna do Dark Carnival next?" the raven haired boy asked cheerily, smiling as he put some thought into a rather devious plan.

"Yeah, sure." _He totally didn't notice anything, thank god._

John clicked start on the co-op campaign screen. _Well, let's begin, shall we?_

"Oh!" He moaned into his mic when a zombie succeeded to do some damage.

"What the..." Dave momentarily got distracted by this little noise and managed to start being mass-attacked by the horde.

"Ohh, Dave. Hnn." He breathed heavily into his mic, trying as hard as possible not to giggle at what he assumed was going on in the other's head.

_Holy shit what is this kid doing? There's no fucking way he's doing that on purpose. I'm imagining things, there is seriously no way. Get yourself together, Dave._

"Fuck!" another throaty moan followed by harsh breathing.

_He did it again. Maybe I'm _not_ imagining this. What the hell is this kid trying to get away with?_

"John, what's up with those noises, bro? Don't you think you can tone it down a little or something?" he blushed lightly, trying to clear his head by focusing more on slicing zombies in half with a katana.

"Hnn? What are you talking about, Dave?" John moaned in the most seductive tone he could muster up. Suddenly, this was becoming less of a silly joke and more of a sexual release to him. He felt his pants very very slowly getting tighter and his moans had started to become less forced.

"That, that thing you're doing, man. With the, the, uh, hard breathing and stuff." _What the hell do I do?_ Dave wracked his brain for an answer. Nothing was coming to mind and he panicked, feeling sweat form on his brow. He shifted around on his couch, nearly spilling his soda when his crotch rubbed against a pillow in _just such a way_ and he nearly fell off. He bit his lip, trying to hold back a moan. _Like hell do I need this right now. Damn it, Egbert._

John noticed some shuffling from his gaming partner and best friend and smiled. "Ohh, Dave. You're funny. Hey, I have another question for you." Dave's breathing hitched slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Can I have a season pass to mount that ass of yours?" John stopped caring about playing stupid. Fuck, was he horny.

Dave moaned. "Wait, uhh, can we at least get off this stupid game first if you're gonna be like that and just go into a party or something? I can't multitask." he heard a slightly irritated grunt and in seconds they were back at their dashboards.

"Dave, I want you so bad." John unzipped his jeans and pulled out his cock, shuddering lightly and moaning as he rubbed the shaft.

"Damn, Egbert. I never expected to hear you like this." he chuckled, voice low. "You're really sexy, you know that?" he pulled out his own cock and smirked.

John only moaned in response. "Uhh, ahh, so what would you do to me if you were here right now?"

"I'd bend you over and fuck you so hard you couldn't walk for weeks." he stroked himself and rubbed his thumb on his head, shivering in pleasure.

"Oh, fuck!" John squeezed his eyes shut and pumped harder, imagination doing wild things to his hormonal body as he let out whimpers and harsh breaths.

"I wanna hear you scream my name, John." a shaky voice commanded over the headset. The black haired boy obeyed it immediately, shouting out curses and irrecognizable sounds.

"Dave, I think I'm gonna cum soon. Oh my fucking god, Dave. I want you inside me so bad." John pressed himself further and further into his couch, tilting his head back and screaming as he pumped faster and faster.

"M-me too. John, cum for me. I wanna hear you cum for me, nnnh!" Both teenagers pumped as fast as possible, moaning and crying out.

"Dave oh my god! I'm gonna, oh fuck, Dave! Dave..." John's body writhed and he felt a thick liquid pour out onto his hands. He panted loudly.

Dave merely moaned in response to these actions and came as well, whispering the other's name over and over again. "Damn, John." both began chuckling, quickly allowing it to turn into full-on laughter. Neither knew why it was so funny to them that they just did that, but they just couldn't hold it in.

"Well shit, dude. I just masturbated to my best bro's voice over xbox live." John emitted a chuckle from this.

"Well shit, dude, I think I did too!"

"So uhh, what does this make us? Can we date or is that too soon for your nerdy ass?"

"Nah, I think my nerdy ass is pretty well-prepared to date a Strider of the Dave variety."

"Well shit. That's awesome. Someone tell the news stations, the radios, the newspapers even. Hell, let's make it facebook official while we're at it. This is obviously the biggest, most important news to ever reach this beautiful shithole we call the United States."

"Oh, most definitely!" John giggled. This was definitely going to be a very interesting relationship.


End file.
